5 Life Lessons From My 90-Year-Old Grandma
My grandma just turned 90.
I spent a week celebrating with her at a “cobbage” (as my 3yo niece would say) on Lake Michigan. It’s amazing what you can learn from someone who has lived 60 YEARS (basically another lifetime) longer than you!
Here are a few of those lessons.
When I saw her the morning I arrived, she was looking for her glasses. She joked that she can’t see or hear anymore. I told her that may be true, but she’s just as lovely as she’s ever been. She laughed at that so I know she heard me.
Here's a photo of Grandma and me chatting and laughing like we always do.
Grandma has a great sense of humor. She laughs at herself first and just “goes with the flow.” At 90, she’s far lower maintenance than me… which not a badge of honor.
So...
Lesson #1: Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Life is tragic in all kinds of ways. But your moment-to-moment life doesn’t have to be.
Take a break from the “grind my life away” mentality and laugh more. You’re alive, damnit! That’s more than 90% of people who have ever lived can say (unless you're a ghost… please don't come visit me - I am easily spooked.)
The second day we went to collect Petoskey stones from Lake Michigan.
My grandma adventured off on her own, up and down the shore, bent over the water, searching. Then, she’d come back, drop a stone into her bucket, and shake her fist playfully at anyone who picked a larger, better stone.
Can you spot the Petoskey stone? She did this for hours. She loves it.
Lesson #2: You’re Never Too Old To Go out and try things.
We’re all going to age. To lose mobility and muscle and flexibility. But do what you can! Keep going on little adventures to remind yourself it’s never too late to find a new stone.
And for the young - don’t waste good health. If you’re blessed with a functional body, use it! Jump, climb, play sports, get sweaty (“insert sex joke”) and just MOVE.
On the third day, my uncle and I went tubing down the river by our cobbage. We *expected* an hour’s leisurely float down this:
What we got was a rocky OBSTACLE COURSE in freezing water. We navigated broken trees, huge jagged rocks, and small rapids that jarred our floats and bruised our asses (I still can’t sit on the toilet).
And it was a blast! Even though it took me an hour to thaw my numb hands, I plan to do it again next year.
Lesson #3: The map is not the territory.
Much of life’s disappointments come from expecting one thing, when reality delivers another. But that’s what makes it worth exploring! Every river bend, broken tree, and big rock you encounter is an opportunity to dig into the adventure and show yourself what you’re capable of. Expect less, embrace more.
The next afternoon, I watched my 3-year-old niece scale every inch of the park nearby. She quickly found a boy her age and asked this little stranger to play. They took off together like they’d been playing for years. Their little hands and feet just a whirlwind over the tubes, slides, and swings.
***I don't have a photo for this because my sister (I think rightly) is going to let her daughter decide for herself what photos of her end up on the internet.***
Lesson #4: Humans are social animals, so make it a priority to connect.
You’re hardwired to play, create, and cooperate with other humans. Do it!
We forget how important this is when we isolate ourselves. Many of life’s difficulties can be worked out by getting out of your house (and your head) and into the world. Meet new people. Go for walks with old friends. Connect in real life.
On the last night, we played “31” - a card game that’s become a family tradition.
My dad loves playing cards, just like his dad. He always said my grandpa was happiest with a 👑 royal in one hand and cards in the other, playing with his friends and family.
We played 8 games in Michigan, and dad never won (neither did I!). But it didn’t matter. Playing the game was enough.
Lesson #5: The game of life IS the point.
Win or lose, the process, strategy, and ups and downs of being totally IN the game is enough. But most people never play. They work a job they hate, comfortable and bored. And they stay there. Get in the game. Because in the end, that's all we have. The game of life.
Thanks for reading.