How To Take Constructive Feedback And Use It To Improve
Building a business or product is a process of iteration. You create something, test it in the real world, get feedback, iterate based on that feedback, test it again, and so on until you have something that works. This can take weeks, months, or years. My wife and I have been rewriting a screenplay for almost two years now!
And the hardest part of this process isn’t the initial creating (that’s the most fun!). It’s interpreting and then implementing feedback from the real world.
Because this isn’t an exact science. As Naval Ravikant says, if you took all the advice from everyone in the world, it would all cancel out to zero. You alone must decide what feedback to use and what to ignore.
So here are some ways to help you take constructive feedback and use it to make your work better.
Most People Just Want To Hear How Great They Are.
The average person doesn’t want feedback. They want to be told their work is great so they can move on to the next step of the process. Don’t be one of those people. You either want your ego stroked or you want to improve – you can’t have both.
Don’t ask someone to give you feedback if you don’t really want it. It’s a waste of their time. In Hollywood, if you ask someone to read your work, they may very well ask you outright if you want real feedback or if you want to feel good. Why would they put a lot of time and energy into critical, constructive criticism if the writer just wants to hear how good it is?
I’ve given feedback on multiple scripts where it’s clear the writer is hurt by my notes. They wanted “this is great!” I told them what thought. And I put the relationship on unstable ground by doing that.
If you do want constructive feedback, awesome! But know that it’s painful. Humans are wired in such a way that any critique on something we put time and effort into will be uncomfortable (even if it’s right). Most people want to avoid that pain. If you lean in instead and take criticism seriously, it will make your work much, much better.
Quality Feedback From Someone Who Has Done It Is the Highest Form Of Praise.
Never underestimate what a gift it is to get competent feedback from someone who has had success doing what you’re trying to do. If they took the time to think about your work – that’s an honor! It means you’re onto something. It means you did enough to make them care. Successful people don’t waste their own time.
When my wife and I were looking for a producer to attach to our movie, we sent the outline (a 10-page document outlining the story) to a handful of producers. One producer’s feedback stood out.
First, she had produced multiple hits in our genre (she’s done what we wanted to do). Second, her feedback was specific and useful. Third, she believed that my wife and I could write this movie – no that we had to write this movie. It was an obvious choice – she’s now attached to the project.
If someone you respect believes in you in an early stage – before you’ve accomplished anything – that’s a good sign. Passion and enthusiasm are hard to come by. When you find someone who has it, especially for your work, stick to them like glue.
When Receiving Feedback, Never Get Defensive.
The biggest mistake you can make when getting feedback is to get defensive or combative with the person giving it. This person took the time to look at your work – the least you can do is give them the benefit of the doubt for a few minutes out of your day.
Sure, their notes could be terrible. But never say that to them in the moment. Because until you’ve had a chance to think about it, you have no idea how their feedback could make your work better.
Always keep an open mind. If you hear something you know won’t work, just say “let me think about that” or “I wonder what that looks like.”
Children squabble and get their egos hurt. Adults understand a note isn’t a personal attack on you as a person. It’s something the other person thinks will make your work better – more marketable, easier to sell, clearer, whatever – so take it as such.
If you handle feedback like a pro, the person giving it to you will be far more inclined to do it again. Don’t burn bridges. Build relationships by keeping an open mind.
Take A Few Days Before Implementing Feedback.
Screenwriters have an unwritten rule when they receive feedback: they must wait 2-3 days before re-reading and implementing any of the notes. Why?
First, there’s usually a natural grieving process that occurs when someone sends you notes. Anger comes first. Then despondence and depression. Finally, you accept that maybe there’s something you can use buried deep inside this painful criticism.
And only then – when you’ve waited long enough for the shock and pain to wear off, do you start re-writing. My wife and I have waited as long as a week to respond to notes. That is how long it took us to cool off and come back to it with a level head.
Never respond impulsively. If you must write out why the person’s feedback is complete and total bullshit, do it. But don’t send that email. Write it and delete it (and make sure you have a time delay on your email account in case you send it by accident and have to hit “undo” – not that I’ve had to use that before ;).
Time is the greatest mood stabilizer. Use it to cool down so you don’t say anything you regret. As Charlie Munger likes to say – you can always tell the person they’re an asshole tomorrow.
In The End, Use Your Gut.
How do you know which feedback to incorporate and which to ignore? There’s no one answer - you have to follow your gut. If you think it’s going to make the work better, try it.
Context of course matters. If I’m getting script notes from Steven Spielberg or Judd Apatow, most of that feedback is probably useful. But it actually shouldn’t matter who the notes come from. Many “non-artists” actually have great notes because they see the work in a different way than people inside your industry. If it makes the work better, use it.
Never ignore notes because you’re too lazy to do the work. Obviously it’s much easier to keep things as they are instead of re-working something from the ground up. But you’ll always know it could have been better. And regret is terrible company.
Sometimes you may think something could work, so you try it out and it doesn’t. That’s okay! It’s better to test to see if a note works than throw it out because you’re too lazy to try.
In the end, your gut makes the call. My wife has an amazing gut. Mine can often be clouded by the need to “keep the peace” with the gatekeepers we’re dealing with. But not my wife. No matter who’s giving us feedback, if my wife thinks it’s going to make it worse, she’ll say so. And guess what? She’s right far more often than she’s wrong.
Your instinct is your great differentiator. Never lose touch with it.
Happy improving.
Disclaimer: No part of this article was written by ChatGPT.